My Fair Wedding on WE TV Casting for MyFairWedding wetv

'My Fair Wedding' planner takes the cake

Thursday, October 23rd 2008, 6:18 PM
MY FAIR WEDDING. Sunday night at 10. WE.
David Tutera didn't get to be "wedding planner to the stars" without skills that go beyond picking the right flowers for the guest tables

In "My Fair Wedding," a new show where Tutera guides ordinary people to a better wedding experience, he demonstrates a level of verbal dexterity that would make Oprah seem tongue-tied

Specifically, Tutera must tell a bride three weeks before her wedding that everything she has been planning for months and months, from the cocktail glasses to the bridesmaid dresses and her own wedding gown, is a ghastly affront to the most rudimentary standards of taste

And he says it so sweetly that Wanda Ortiz just nods and says yeah, okay, that's fine, we can start over if you think that's best

That's a credit to Wanda, too. Most brides, if they got that message three weeks before their wedding, would cut off Tutera's head and mount it above the buffet table as a warning about overturning a bride's prep work 21 days before the "I do."

Unfortunately, that time-management challenge is about as exciting as "My Fair Wedding" gets, because the rest offers little more than a chance for viewers to compare their taste with Wanda's and David's.

It's inoffensive, it's pleasant and it's like snacking on diet rice cakes. There just isn't much there.

The story line for this premiere episode starts with Ortiz wanting a "South Beach" wedding because she and her fiancé love Miami, although the ceremony will be in New Jersey, where they live.

The only glitch is that her idea of South Beach and Tutera's idea of South Beach are as different as the look of "Miami Vice" vs. the look of "The Sopranos."

For instance, Ortiz has bought all kinds of colorful novelty items, like blinking green fake ice cubes to put in the apple martini glasses.

Tutera nods politely when she rolls this stuff out, then just as politely tells her to put it all away. Privately, he explains the problem: "She's like a 12-year-old getting married."

Moving on, she shows him the bridesmaid gowns that she picked for her teenage daughters, one bright green and the other bright purple.

He thinks no one should ever wear green at a wedding, and while he can live with a light, subtle purple, the bright shade has to go.

He also discovers that Wanda herself doesn't like her wedding dress. So he's more than happy to help her find a replacement.

Meanwhile, somehow Tutera and the happy couple find time for them to take an intensive ballroom dancing course, so they can wow people at the reception.

With all due respect to Wanda, it is a better plan than the blinking green ice cubes dhinckley@nydailynews.com